It doesn't take a loaded gun, knife, rope, or our fists. The power to kill can simply come from our words to others. In one brief moment we can destroy someones life with the words we can use. We can tare down, destroy, and leave a wake of carnage that no amount of explosive can provide. Words are deadly weapons that we think about more after we let them fly than we do before we open our mouths. I have learned this truth several times, the hard way, over the years. But our words don't have to be these things.
The opposite is true as well. Our words can actually be a bit of heaven here on earth for people. They can lift people up, give confidence, and provide a sense of value and self worth like nothing else. We can build someone up like a mason adding the next layer of brick to a building. We can strengthen someones life like the steel worker adding another brace for support. Each of us has the ability to grow people by affirming their value and worth. With the simple concept of appreciation we can raise a persons value. When we celebrate them and give thanks for them, when we point out the good things we see them doing, all these things add value to their life.
Let's commit to encouragement. Too often, at least in my own life, it is so easy to point out people's faults and weaknesses. Instead, what would it look like if we decided that we were going to look for the best in people and point it out when we see them doing good, or making a difference, or helping someone grow? It is a decision and a choice on our part. It takes a lot of work and strong focus. Mainly though, it takes a heart for people and a belief that in God's eyes and our own, that all people matter. Do you value other people as much as you should? If you are like me it is not that we intentionally look past others we are just simply too caught up in our own lives to notice others. When we grow in Christ that means we are also growing in the things that Christ is interested in. You will discover that people, and their value and worth are at the center of what Jesus focuses on. He desires that we have that same focus. Let's be encourager's together. In community with you, Your Dreaming Pastor
Monday, October 13, 2008
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Have you won lately?
...you know what I am talking about. That moment when you know you are right and that you are carrying the proper and healthy perspective in this whole thing. Knowing that the person you are about to talk to doesn't have the right idea and needs some of your wisdom. So you engage them in conversation and the entire time your working your strategy to WIN the conversation, the argument, the disagreement, or whatever it is.
I was struck by the first line of my morning devotion from Rick Warren. He said, "stop trying to win arguments." Wow! that hit me right between the eyes. This is one of those things that I don't recognize that I am necessarily doing but now look back and wonder how many times has this been my motivation? Another phrase quickly kicked into my mind after reading this line. "You can win an argument and still wind up losing." "You can be right right in the end but still be wrong in the long run." This is never more true than in marriage. I can't tell you how many times I have "won" a conversation or argument with Erin...or proved that I was right and in the end I still lose and lose big time. Guys, you know what I am talking about.
The point here is the goal of a conversation isn't to win, or even to make sure we got our point across....but it is to add value and love to the other persons life. If we live with a Godly perspective this is our major motive, and a pure one at that. All other motivations are self serving and can even be manipulative to try and get a favorable outcome for us. Without love and God's direction our conversations can sound more like the Presidential debate than a healthy exchange of God's love and grace. God knows, we don't need another one of those debates. I am really taking a look at my life, my conversational style, and evaluating my motives when I engage in conversation. Too often my goal is to get my point across, to try and steer that person in a direction I want them to go rather than just listening and lovingly responding to their concerns and needs. What a smack in the head...Lord forgive me.
In the long run I sense that the major fix here is to do more listening than talking when it comes to these moments. When we give others the freedom and create the environment for them to share without having to give our thoughts/perspective/ or fix-all solutions we are more hospitable and less hostile. I am learning everyday how helpful and how hurtful my communication can be. Our words, our tone, our nonverbal communication all create a package that either gives people the freedom to be who they are. Or it suggests that we are in a competition with them to try and win at all costs the conversation and argument that lays before us. The Bible tells us to, "let there be real harmony" between us in our lives and conversations. The problem isn't usually with them but with me. How abut you?
In Community with you,
Your Dreaming Pastor
I was struck by the first line of my morning devotion from Rick Warren. He said, "stop trying to win arguments." Wow! that hit me right between the eyes. This is one of those things that I don't recognize that I am necessarily doing but now look back and wonder how many times has this been my motivation? Another phrase quickly kicked into my mind after reading this line. "You can win an argument and still wind up losing." "You can be right right in the end but still be wrong in the long run." This is never more true than in marriage. I can't tell you how many times I have "won" a conversation or argument with Erin...or proved that I was right and in the end I still lose and lose big time. Guys, you know what I am talking about.
The point here is the goal of a conversation isn't to win, or even to make sure we got our point across....but it is to add value and love to the other persons life. If we live with a Godly perspective this is our major motive, and a pure one at that. All other motivations are self serving and can even be manipulative to try and get a favorable outcome for us. Without love and God's direction our conversations can sound more like the Presidential debate than a healthy exchange of God's love and grace. God knows, we don't need another one of those debates. I am really taking a look at my life, my conversational style, and evaluating my motives when I engage in conversation. Too often my goal is to get my point across, to try and steer that person in a direction I want them to go rather than just listening and lovingly responding to their concerns and needs. What a smack in the head...Lord forgive me.
In the long run I sense that the major fix here is to do more listening than talking when it comes to these moments. When we give others the freedom and create the environment for them to share without having to give our thoughts/perspective/ or fix-all solutions we are more hospitable and less hostile. I am learning everyday how helpful and how hurtful my communication can be. Our words, our tone, our nonverbal communication all create a package that either gives people the freedom to be who they are. Or it suggests that we are in a competition with them to try and win at all costs the conversation and argument that lays before us. The Bible tells us to, "let there be real harmony" between us in our lives and conversations. The problem isn't usually with them but with me. How abut you?
In Community with you,
Your Dreaming Pastor
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
R. E. S. P. E. C. T. just a little bit...
How well do we show respect to others? Great question. Let me start by asking another question. Is showing respect to others, another way to share our love with them? Ultimately yes because as Rick Warren puts it in our daily devotional, it is a way to see people through God's eyes. When we see people in that way we look beyond our own irritable, judging, self focused eyes. So often we demand so much from others in attitude and behavior that we ourselves don't even expect from our own life. We are quick to judge others when we hope others will not judge us. We are slow to have patience with others when we hope they will have patience with us. We lack the energy of understanding others only to hope that someone will understand us. When we respect people we open our hearts to the grace of God and see others in the light of God. We see others and can have compassion not matter what they are doing or saying.
One statement I read today really hit home with me...the most difficult relationships to offer respect to are those that are closest to us. How true this is in my life and family. I look at our household and we say and act in ways towards one another that we would never do with anyone else out in the real world. I get so irritated and frustrated with my kids. I display it openly and in some cases go way over the top with my frustrations. With anyone else I would take a deep breathe sit down and talk peacefully with them or in some cases just get past it on my own. My kids act and speak to us in ways that I have never seen them act towards anyone else. We often ask our kids why they don't say this or do that in front of other adults. There is so much truth to this. Why is it so hard to act with respect toward those that we are closest to? Maybe its because we see these people everyday. Maybe I can have patience once or twice with someone and forget about it, but if I am with someone all week it just gets to be too much and I just let loose.
I was on a two week mission trip to Belize one year...I traveled with a group from our church that at the time I was serving as minister of outreach and mission. I got along great with the folk we traveled with and never had gotten frustrated with any of them before. About a week into our trip some of us were getting a little chippy towards each other until at one point we were visibly and verbally annoyed with one another. It was a reminder to me that this love thing...this respect thing is easy when you only have to show it a few times. But when you are confronted with the need to respond this way several times a day for a period of several days it really wears on you. I would attribute this to the fact of our human nature. This is why everyday we have an obligation to continue to become more and more like Christ. To take on His character and Holiness and to shed our sinful habits.
I am praying that God will continue to mold and shape me....that He will create a greater awareness of when I am tripping up with my family in the area of respect. I pray and ask Him to help me with my patience and expectations of people and others. I hope and desire for His love to continue to grow in my heart so that my capacity to love others beyond myself will grow as well. How about you...what are you praying about?
In Community with You,
Your Dreaming Pastor
One statement I read today really hit home with me...the most difficult relationships to offer respect to are those that are closest to us. How true this is in my life and family. I look at our household and we say and act in ways towards one another that we would never do with anyone else out in the real world. I get so irritated and frustrated with my kids. I display it openly and in some cases go way over the top with my frustrations. With anyone else I would take a deep breathe sit down and talk peacefully with them or in some cases just get past it on my own. My kids act and speak to us in ways that I have never seen them act towards anyone else. We often ask our kids why they don't say this or do that in front of other adults. There is so much truth to this. Why is it so hard to act with respect toward those that we are closest to? Maybe its because we see these people everyday. Maybe I can have patience once or twice with someone and forget about it, but if I am with someone all week it just gets to be too much and I just let loose.
I was on a two week mission trip to Belize one year...I traveled with a group from our church that at the time I was serving as minister of outreach and mission. I got along great with the folk we traveled with and never had gotten frustrated with any of them before. About a week into our trip some of us were getting a little chippy towards each other until at one point we were visibly and verbally annoyed with one another. It was a reminder to me that this love thing...this respect thing is easy when you only have to show it a few times. But when you are confronted with the need to respond this way several times a day for a period of several days it really wears on you. I would attribute this to the fact of our human nature. This is why everyday we have an obligation to continue to become more and more like Christ. To take on His character and Holiness and to shed our sinful habits.
I am praying that God will continue to mold and shape me....that He will create a greater awareness of when I am tripping up with my family in the area of respect. I pray and ask Him to help me with my patience and expectations of people and others. I hope and desire for His love to continue to grow in my heart so that my capacity to love others beyond myself will grow as well. How about you...what are you praying about?
In Community with You,
Your Dreaming Pastor
Monday, October 6, 2008
How is our commitment?
I was reminded in my devotional this morning that our commitment to Jesus means being committed to others. I wonder how many of us have a deep commitment to some folk outside of our immediate family. Some of us are in a small group and some are not. These small groups at first glance look like a huge commitment to something else on our calendar...but it is much bigger than that. Our participation is a commitment to others and to deeper relationships. Now we can be in a group and not have any deep commitments. So, this means taking the chance and the risk of going deeper in our commitment with a few folk in our groups. Building and nurturing relationships of love and accountability.
This is why our participation in these groups is so important. Just by being there we are making a statement that we are committed to the people of God and to several individuals. We are saying that this group of people matter's more than all the other busy things on our schedules. Setting aside time for small group means setting aside time to nurture relationships. In the long run we grow closer to God and closer to others and together become changed for the better in Jesus Christ. Where are your significant relationships? Where is your commitment to a small group? Maybe it is time to take that first step and get in a group. Maybe it is time to take that second step and reach across the Isle to someone in your group and go deeper with them in commitment. God has brought these people into your life for a reason and a purpose. To change you and for you to change them. Awesome!
In Community with you,
Your Dreaming Pastor
This is why our participation in these groups is so important. Just by being there we are making a statement that we are committed to the people of God and to several individuals. We are saying that this group of people matter's more than all the other busy things on our schedules. Setting aside time for small group means setting aside time to nurture relationships. In the long run we grow closer to God and closer to others and together become changed for the better in Jesus Christ. Where are your significant relationships? Where is your commitment to a small group? Maybe it is time to take that first step and get in a group. Maybe it is time to take that second step and reach across the Isle to someone in your group and go deeper with them in commitment. God has brought these people into your life for a reason and a purpose. To change you and for you to change them. Awesome!
In Community with you,
Your Dreaming Pastor
Sunday, October 5, 2008
I walked out of church today!
Well this weekend my dad, my son, and I took our annual trip up north to take in a Lions game. What a great time we have doing this...it is so good to spend this time with my dad and I know Austin will have memories to last a lifetime. Our pattern over the last few years is to head up on Saturday and goof around Michigan for a few hours and then head to the hotel just south of Detroit for the night. Then we get up early Sunday morning and head into downtown Detroit and find a place to park. We walk around a little bit and Austin and I toss a football. Then we head to church at a United Methodist church right next to the ballpark for worship. The service starts at 10AM and is over in time for us to head to the game.
Last year we had an OK experience at this church. It has a very traditional downtown church facade. It is extremely old and the congregation sadly has dwindled over the years to around 60 people. The service itself was very traditional and was OK at best. This year however it was quit and interesting experience. The person leading the liturgy was slow and deliberate...it was kind of awkward. They took 20 minutes just for announcements and made all first time visitors stand up while everyone else claps. During the prayer time the pastor proceeded to tell us all we should get out and vote...and then it came...he stood there and basically told us who to vote for and how this was the most important election in history. He told us that we should talk to our "white" friends and let them know that it is OK for them to vote for a "black man" for president. I think I felt my jaw hitting the floor. I leaned over and asked my dad if I heard him correctly because I was so shocked. My dad confirmed it and I was really upset. So upset I leaned over to my dad and Austin and said we are leaving. We walked out and stood there for awhile on the street corner and talked.
I can't tell you how distasteful it is to me that a pastor would use the God given gift of the pulpit and a congregation that He's entrusted them with for political purposes. I was reminded of Jeremiah Wright and his political slant when he teaches. I mean, in these cases does the pastor believe that everyone in their congregation is of the same political persuasion? It is my personal experience especially today that partisanship from the pulpit is inflammatory at best, and takes the focus from Jesus at its worst. Secondly, my dad looked at me and asked if I thought this guy was suggesting that if a "white" person didn't vote for and African American president that they were racist? I told him that I hadn't thought of it before like that...but part of what he said rang true. It just disgusted me...For me I realize that politics is such a fiery issue that when it comes up most people are so passionate that all other focus is lost. Especially on what matters most and that is Christ. That is why I never bring it up from the pulpit on Sunday's because we have both Democrats and Republicans coming to our church and I don't what people to lose there focus, Jesus. I also want people to feel welcome no matter what their political views are. Safe to say I didn't feel welcome at that church.
However, God spoke to my heart to go back in and worship Him. After all as I looked at my dad as we figured out what to do I said, "I just want to worship this morning." So, that is exactly what we did. We went back inside and sat through the rest of the service. Then it got even more interesting. The pastor's sermon was all about how much their church and other churches in Detroit had been dying...how Detroit had been dying and changing for the worse. The pastor talked about a revitalization committee who was created to figure out how to grow the church. Their big idea is to have a "bring a friend" Sunday in November to build their church. His sermon was awful and slow....very little reference to scripture and never really mentioned God or Jesus but once or twice. Part of his commentary was once again against a political party and by the time he was done he and his church had clearly answered why they were dying. Everything that they were and everything that they were doing was the reason they were dying and yet they couldn't see it. It was really, really sad. A bipartisan church, with a bipartisan pastor who sounded like he prepared his sermon that morning...(at one moment during his sermon he joked that he did!) They wanted to grow but yet couldn't see that the reason they weren't, was staring them right in the face.
I feel sorry for them and am praying for them. This moment did a couple of things for me. First and foremost it reminded me that no matter what church it is...how bad it is...and how off center it is from Jesus I can still worship God. Worshiping God has little to do with the pastor, church, or service and everything to do with our heart. I learned a great lesson going back in that church and had a great lesson to teach Austin. No matter how bad it is we should always give God our worship and love. I am so glad I did and even though the experience was ridiculous I still felt connected to God and refreshed in a new way. This moment also reminded me of my duties as a pastor and how not to carry out those duties. God challenged me to stick with the things he has placed on my heart for the local church...the continued need for change and evaluation that is crucial not only for a churches survival but so that it thrives into he future. I pray that God continues to place me into circumstances where my comfort zones are challenges so that in the end I come out better and more certain of His plans for my life and the local churches he places me in as pastor. I was also reminded of the great responsibility I have been given in my preaching. It would be so easy to use the pulpit for my own purposes, as I witnessed this day. I know that every Sunday I need to take very seriously what I say and be certain that my words are not mine but God's. God is good... despite our attempts to mess everything up. Blessings, Your Dreaming Pastor
Last year we had an OK experience at this church. It has a very traditional downtown church facade. It is extremely old and the congregation sadly has dwindled over the years to around 60 people. The service itself was very traditional and was OK at best. This year however it was quit and interesting experience. The person leading the liturgy was slow and deliberate...it was kind of awkward. They took 20 minutes just for announcements and made all first time visitors stand up while everyone else claps. During the prayer time the pastor proceeded to tell us all we should get out and vote...and then it came...he stood there and basically told us who to vote for and how this was the most important election in history. He told us that we should talk to our "white" friends and let them know that it is OK for them to vote for a "black man" for president. I think I felt my jaw hitting the floor. I leaned over and asked my dad if I heard him correctly because I was so shocked. My dad confirmed it and I was really upset. So upset I leaned over to my dad and Austin and said we are leaving. We walked out and stood there for awhile on the street corner and talked.
I can't tell you how distasteful it is to me that a pastor would use the God given gift of the pulpit and a congregation that He's entrusted them with for political purposes. I was reminded of Jeremiah Wright and his political slant when he teaches. I mean, in these cases does the pastor believe that everyone in their congregation is of the same political persuasion? It is my personal experience especially today that partisanship from the pulpit is inflammatory at best, and takes the focus from Jesus at its worst. Secondly, my dad looked at me and asked if I thought this guy was suggesting that if a "white" person didn't vote for and African American president that they were racist? I told him that I hadn't thought of it before like that...but part of what he said rang true. It just disgusted me...For me I realize that politics is such a fiery issue that when it comes up most people are so passionate that all other focus is lost. Especially on what matters most and that is Christ. That is why I never bring it up from the pulpit on Sunday's because we have both Democrats and Republicans coming to our church and I don't what people to lose there focus, Jesus. I also want people to feel welcome no matter what their political views are. Safe to say I didn't feel welcome at that church.
However, God spoke to my heart to go back in and worship Him. After all as I looked at my dad as we figured out what to do I said, "I just want to worship this morning." So, that is exactly what we did. We went back inside and sat through the rest of the service. Then it got even more interesting. The pastor's sermon was all about how much their church and other churches in Detroit had been dying...how Detroit had been dying and changing for the worse. The pastor talked about a revitalization committee who was created to figure out how to grow the church. Their big idea is to have a "bring a friend" Sunday in November to build their church. His sermon was awful and slow....very little reference to scripture and never really mentioned God or Jesus but once or twice. Part of his commentary was once again against a political party and by the time he was done he and his church had clearly answered why they were dying. Everything that they were and everything that they were doing was the reason they were dying and yet they couldn't see it. It was really, really sad. A bipartisan church, with a bipartisan pastor who sounded like he prepared his sermon that morning...(at one moment during his sermon he joked that he did!) They wanted to grow but yet couldn't see that the reason they weren't, was staring them right in the face.
I feel sorry for them and am praying for them. This moment did a couple of things for me. First and foremost it reminded me that no matter what church it is...how bad it is...and how off center it is from Jesus I can still worship God. Worshiping God has little to do with the pastor, church, or service and everything to do with our heart. I learned a great lesson going back in that church and had a great lesson to teach Austin. No matter how bad it is we should always give God our worship and love. I am so glad I did and even though the experience was ridiculous I still felt connected to God and refreshed in a new way. This moment also reminded me of my duties as a pastor and how not to carry out those duties. God challenged me to stick with the things he has placed on my heart for the local church...the continued need for change and evaluation that is crucial not only for a churches survival but so that it thrives into he future. I pray that God continues to place me into circumstances where my comfort zones are challenges so that in the end I come out better and more certain of His plans for my life and the local churches he places me in as pastor. I was also reminded of the great responsibility I have been given in my preaching. It would be so easy to use the pulpit for my own purposes, as I witnessed this day. I know that every Sunday I need to take very seriously what I say and be certain that my words are not mine but God's. God is good... despite our attempts to mess everything up. Blessings, Your Dreaming Pastor
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Do I have any Friends?
We live in a relationally starved culture today. Most of us are just skimming through the relational jungle never really landing in deep and intimate conversations that matter in the long run. We stay on the surface and just breeze right past the real needs, hurts, and issues that many of us are carrying and facing. How many of us have true friendships? The running joke in our house is that I don't really have any friends. We always laugh about that because I give Erin a hard time for talking on the phone countless times to the same person or visiting someone two or three times a week, all day. She simply remarks, "just because I have friends and you don't, don't give me a hard time." That always brings a laugh from both of us. I just think I am not as invested as much in my friends as Erin is. Just don't make time for it.
It got me to thinking though. How many friends do I have that do not have a church home or are far from God? After all God wants to use our relationships and those people that he has brought into our life to help them grow closer to him. If I don't know anyone that doesn't know God how will I ever be able to help people who are far from God find him? I think that this is one of the reasons I love coaching my kids teams so much. Not only does it give me a chance to spend time with my kids but it gives me an avenue to build relationships with folk I normally wouldn't know. It gives me an "in" into peoples lives. Coaching tears down walls and barriers and builds instant relationship. For an introverted guy like me that is huge! I just hope and pray that these families see the love that I have for Jesus in the way I love their kids and them.
Everyday there are chances and opportunities for me to love and build relationships with folk who don't know God. I am asking myself today how often I take the opportunity to do just that. As you walk through your day today take a moment with everyone you come across to plant a seed of love. You never know what God will do to water it and how it might just grow in their life. In Community with you,
Your Dreaming Pastor
It got me to thinking though. How many friends do I have that do not have a church home or are far from God? After all God wants to use our relationships and those people that he has brought into our life to help them grow closer to him. If I don't know anyone that doesn't know God how will I ever be able to help people who are far from God find him? I think that this is one of the reasons I love coaching my kids teams so much. Not only does it give me a chance to spend time with my kids but it gives me an avenue to build relationships with folk I normally wouldn't know. It gives me an "in" into peoples lives. Coaching tears down walls and barriers and builds instant relationship. For an introverted guy like me that is huge! I just hope and pray that these families see the love that I have for Jesus in the way I love their kids and them.
Everyday there are chances and opportunities for me to love and build relationships with folk who don't know God. I am asking myself today how often I take the opportunity to do just that. As you walk through your day today take a moment with everyone you come across to plant a seed of love. You never know what God will do to water it and how it might just grow in their life. In Community with you,
Your Dreaming Pastor
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
How well do we accept others?
I have been reminded that Christ has accepted me despite my flaws, selfishness, and desire to do my own thing. In so many ways throughout my life I have gone away from what Christ would want from me yet he accepts me and loves me despite those flaws. That is Good News! However the bad news is that I don't necessarily treat others the way that Christ has treated me. I am not always as openly accepting of others. I tend to be somewhat judgemental and opinionated when it comes to others. For most of us this is true to some degree. We do this both with folk that are inside the church and especially with those who are outside the church.
The sad thing is that acceptance of others is one way that we show the love of Christ and the love that we want to have for them. I need to do a better job of learning to love people no matter who they are and what it is they do. I am not loving their actions or in actions. I am simply choosing to love them as part of god's creation. After all, every person who has walked this earth is part of God's creation. When I have hatred or show ill feelings toward anyone, I am basically telling god that He messed up and I don't love what he made. I would assume God is offended by such activity.
This 40 day journey of community that we are on has taught me one huge thing. I have a long way to go in learning to fully love people. There is a lot of work God wants to do in me show His love to all people. What am I doing today, this week, this month to show and share the love of Christ with others? One of the ways is to learn to be more accepting and to save my judgements for myself. God is bringing people into my life everyday so that I might be the conduit of His love. Am I living up to His purpose for me...are you? In Community with you, Your Dreaming Pastor
The sad thing is that acceptance of others is one way that we show the love of Christ and the love that we want to have for them. I need to do a better job of learning to love people no matter who they are and what it is they do. I am not loving their actions or in actions. I am simply choosing to love them as part of god's creation. After all, every person who has walked this earth is part of God's creation. When I have hatred or show ill feelings toward anyone, I am basically telling god that He messed up and I don't love what he made. I would assume God is offended by such activity.
This 40 day journey of community that we are on has taught me one huge thing. I have a long way to go in learning to fully love people. There is a lot of work God wants to do in me show His love to all people. What am I doing today, this week, this month to show and share the love of Christ with others? One of the ways is to learn to be more accepting and to save my judgements for myself. God is bringing people into my life everyday so that I might be the conduit of His love. Am I living up to His purpose for me...are you? In Community with you, Your Dreaming Pastor
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