Everyone has a kryptonite in their life

No matter how well someone looks, no matter how happy they seem, no matter how put together someone seems everyone has a weak point in their life. We all have one issue that when it comes it steamrolls us right over. It's like the rest of our life is manageable but there is that one thing, or for some certain things, that just get the best of them. Being a pastor makes me no different. Yeah I read my Bible, I do my best to give my life to God. Yes I spend my life encouraging others to do the same...but I still have a Kryptonite. For me it is my daughter Hailey.

Many of you who know our family know that we have some behavioral issues that go way beyond normal with two of our children. We are in the process of regular counseling and prescription medication to help them and to help us. No matter what we do, no matter how much medication and counseling...there are days where Hailey's behavior sends a sickening feeling throughout our entire household. Life feels like we are in the middle of a hurricane or tornado where everything is just spinning around us and our family is left in pieces. She is my Kryptonite. There are so many days where after our episodes with her I feel like the worst parent in the world. Nothing goes right and my frustrations go beyond the boiling point. I know she has to be miserable inside because most of her life is spent being punished, grounded, or stuck in her room. When that isn't going on she is screaming, crying, or being just plain nasty. So many nights wind up with Erin or I putting her in the hold because she is so out of control and refuses to listen to anything we say or do. Many of her friends are able to go and do special things but we can't let her go because we can't subject others to her venomous outbursts. Or so many times she is grounded or in the middle of punishment and can't go and do those things.

I would be easy to say that because of this situation that our family is in crisis but I think that would be understated. It is like living with a stick of dynamite with a fuse that you never know when it is going to get lit and go off and leave everything in its wake in ruin. Don't be mistaken by me or my family. We are seemingly normal and we have a great life. God is good and we are extremely blessed. But make no mistake about it we have a Kryptonite in our life. We have that one thing that no matter how well we are put together we seemingly stubble every time. We hope and pray that things are getting better with her but there are days like today that we wonder if she will ever get better. There are days like today where our hope is only a distant pipe dream in the face of yet another horrendous outburst. I don't like who I am in those moments...I don't like who I am soon after those moments. It is a challenge that I don't have enough power strength or energy to deal with. So I am relying on God. God, I seek your forgiveness for all the ways I have failed Hailey and have failed as a parent. I know I am not perfect and I ask for your forgiveness. I come to you now in this moment as I have done so many times before to ask for you loving kindness and power for living to fill my life and my families life. I can't do this on my own and I need you. God I trust you to continue to do a new thing in my life and to mold me, make me, and shape me. God I pray that your son Jesus would be the continuing antidote to my Kryptonite. A-men. What is your weakness that tends to get the best of you? Have you given it to God? Jesus can be your antidote. It won't always be easy, but I do know one thing... Having Jesus present in my life and in my family's life is sometimes the only thing that keeps me sane. Blessings, Your Dreaming Pastor