Worth Fighting for!

John E. in his book Walking with God talks about fighting for the things in our life that God is wanting us to experience. In other words how often have our schedules gotten busy and hectic and we think about or start dropping things from it that don't seem possible but yet would bring joy into our life, or better yet be what God wants us to do? It is so easy to get wrapped up in life that we let go of the very things God wants us to be a part of.

There have been countless times in life where things got busy and life seemed overwhelming and I just started dumping cargo overboard in a desperate attempt to lighten the load instead of fighting for it. Like when I skipped my graduation ceremony at OSU because life was feeling just a little chaotic, or when I decided not to go on a Chrysalis walk in college because I was feeling overwhelmed at school. I know in both of those cases God had some joy for me and a blessing for me and I missed it. I missed it because I was trying to fill in the blanks on my own. I was relying on myself to make the best decision. We all do this in life when faced with tough choices...but trying to make these choices on our own is not walking with God. We simply can't see all the things that God can see. So I find myself trusting Him more, therefor I am seeking His council more frequently on things that in the past I would have just decided to do because that was what I decided to do.

It is uncanny that this was the reading for the day in John E's book. I have been in prayer with someone in our church this very day that is facing a busy hectic crazy life. They are facing some really tough decisions and it is so easy to just start dumping things overboard. I am praying that they continue to seek God's council as they walk with him. That is a different posture than making choices that just seem "right" to us. God knows more than we do so I am praying that I lean on Him more. I pray that all of us lean on Him more for the choices in our life. Who knows what we might be missing if we don't fight for something we know He wants to do. What in your life is worth fighting for? What is God trying to do in you and through you that might result in joy or changed lives? Consider fighting for it, instead of just dumping it overboard.
Walking Together,
Your Dreaming Pastor

Good grief...here we go again!

Man how many times have I let Satan get a foothold in my life. Particularly around the issue of guilt and shame. Every time I mess up in life Satan is right there to tell me what a lousy person I am or that I have blown it. The biggest area of weakness for me right now is with parenting. There are times where I scream and holler and blow my stack and the feelings that come from that later are just horrible. I feel guilt, shame, and conviction. There are voices that tell me I am a lousy dad and it will never get any better so why even try. Then there are other voices that tell me that I have made a mistake and to pick myself up off the ground and try again. This voice I sense believes in me...is not condemning me but challenging me to be better.

It is so hard to sometimes separate God's genuine conviction in our life from the lies Satan wants to plant in us. I can relate to John E. in his book Walking With God. So often I get confused between what is my fault and what am I responsible for and what actually is Satan just trying to guilt me away from God or shame me into doing something or believing something stupid. This is one of the hardest spiritual battles I feel like I face on a regular basis. I do more often than I'd like wonder if God still forgives me. I often think there are moments where I have blown it and God is far from me and wants nothing to do with me. Man those are lies and I hate those thoughts!!! I am working on bringing the work of Jesus into those moments to discern what is actually something I need to work on or what is it that I just need to ignore because it will only pollute my heart more. Satan is such a big fat liar!

I really think this book has helped me greatly. I love truth that it gave me about my life and my life with God. If I really wanted to be evil and turn my back from God than why does it distress me so to think that? If I really wanted to live a life of sin than why is there so much conviction and hurt that wells up out of my heart when I entertain those thoughts. In other words I am not inherently evil. I have not blown it. Sin doesn't have a strangle hold on my life. To the contrary the bible promises something entirely different. Because of the power of Christ Scripture says that I am, "dead to sin". Sin no longer has control of me because I am Christ's. What reassurance!!! This chapter was huge for me. It gave me some new truths bout how God sees me and how I can trust His feelings about me. Thanks Lord for believing in me when I don't believe in myself. You are an awesome God!
Walking Together,
Your Dreaming Pastor

Reawakening desire & back on JOY!

I wonder how many of us at some point in time have shut our hearts down to things? There is a life we always planned on living, goals and dreams we have never fully reached or accomplished. How often to we stuff our desires deep down into our hearts only to be ignored because it is too risky or it might mean a lot of work and hardship at first. John E. reminds us in his book that the more we stuff things down into our heart the more it cries out for attention. That's the point and the moment where addiction tends to show up. We start looking for some intimacy here or there. the crying heart can't be ignored. I wonder what you have stuffed deep inside you.

I remember in 1996 I started working for a business in Springboro, OH. Erin was finishing up school and we were to be married a few months later in May. I continued this job for 1 year. I was miserable, I hated going to work and spent the whole week looking forward to the weekend. I was quickly realizing the damage I was doing to my heart by ignoring desire. God had put a desire for full-time ministry into my heart years before and I ignored it. I stuffed deep inside of me but it kept popping up. Finally one day Erin and I decided it was time and we packed our bags for Seminary in Louisville, KY. My heart was leaping out of my chest. It was risky and I was a little scared. It was going to be a change and a lot of work, but we went for it and never looked back. I have never regretted following the desire God gave me.

We do have to be careful though. All too often we are following our own personal hearts desire. these are many times desires not from God but ones we have concocted to ease our pain or to numb our loneliness or unhappiness. This is where prayer comes in. We ask God what this longing is our heart is about. Why is it there God? We ask. God is this where you are leading me? Then we can discover if God is indeed reawakening desire in us.

Back to the joy thing for a moment. I have sensed God doing a new and amazing thing in my life since my 9 day Project of Joy while on vacation several weeks ago. Ever since that week I have keep my eyes open more fully for chances to experience His joy. I have learned to listen more to His voice and to set aside my frustrations and impatience for things. I am finding that I am accepting disappointment better and keeping my eyes open for the beautiful thing He is trying to do in and around me and my family. Thursday last week we would have normally had small group at our house. However, several families were not able to make it and the one remaining family was thinking about going to the fair. We decided to go to Meadow Brook Park in Bascum for a picnic that evening and play time with the kids. We have done this before however we have taken cold sandwiches and things...never cooked right there.

I have always wanted to go to the park with the family and kind of set up shop for several hours while the kids played I would cook and prepare lunch or dinner on the open flame. I new that this was a gift God was going to give us and I wasn't going to let the idea go until we had done it. This night was our night. We packed everything we needed for hamburgers and hot dogs. We packed baseball mitts, soccer balls, and a football, along with some folding chairs. The weather was picture perfect! May have been the best evening of the season so far. I lit up the barbecue and while I was working the grill I played catch with Austin and then kicked the soccer ball with Hailey. Erin played on the play ground with the babies and Tawna and we just hung out for a few hours. It was just a great experience. No large sum of money spent. We didn't really go that far from home. Set up and clean up was minimal. It was a good, rich time to spend with the family. God gave us something beautiful that night and I will always cherish the images and time we had there. What joy He brought to my heart that evening. It was a desire He placed in me a year or so ago and I didn't let it go. I listened and we followed. It was a reminder that He is in the simple things if we invite Him to join us there. I pray that joy continues to abound in your heart. I pray that God is doing a new thing in you. I know He is working in my life.
Walking Together,
Your Dreaming Pastor

Do I love my life?

How many of you struggle in your life with the moment? I know there are times where I feel like I am reaching for something. I don't necessarily know what it is that I am reaching for, which makes it all the more concerning. All I know is that there is a dissatisfaction with the moment. Something inside my heart just isn't right and the sense of fulfillment feels like was once there but is no longer available. I think we all fall into these moments when what is happening in our life isn't really enough. We conjure up some thought of what we might want, or where we might want to be that would make everything better. When the truth is we get those things and we are no better off. Then the question lingers out there that nobody wants to answer. Sadly though it is the question that if able to answer yes to will open up the flood gates of joy. The question is this..."Do I love my life?" I think if we are brave enough to actually ask that question we very quickly follow it up with this question..."Do I really even want to know the answer to that question?"

I do find myself day dreaming a lot. taking my mind away from where I am at to place I think I would rather be. Or I find myself thinking about something that I don't have and then thinking about what it would be like to have it. For me it is a basic realization that my heart needs something. It is crying out. For some reason it is not filled or fulfilled. Jesus reminds us that the only thing that will truly fill our heart to satisfaction is a relationship with him...an intimate, personal companionship. Without that our hearts will cry out, they will ache for something more. And it will unsettle us deeply!

This whole idea brings us back to whole and holiness. Christ goal for our life is that His joy would be complete in us, His love would be complete in us, His peace would be complete in us. I could go on and on here but you get the point. You see the more whole we are in Christ (complete) the more of His Holiness we will be able to take in. That is what I long for. Jesus I turn to you this morning and ask you to fill and fulfill me. Take away the longing of my heart for stuff, places, and people that are not here now and love the moment in life you have given me. Fill me with your satisfaction and contentedness. Thank you for understanding me and still loving me. Amen
Walking Together,
Your Dreaming Pastor

I've blown it again...or have I

Boy how many times in my life have I blown it. Where I know I have messed up and gone a different direction then where God is going. It is so easy in these times to let Satan's little subtle agreements to creep in at these times. Satan will mess with my concience and convince me that it is all my fault and that I am know God. That God is going to leave me behind and that this one was the straw that broke the camels back. He paints picutres in my mind of God utterly dissapointed with me and angry at me. Yeah you've really blwn it this time John! Why do I think like this? Why is it so easy to get down on ourselves. How come I am so quick to listen to and buy into what Satan in trying to do in me?

Yesterday Hailey spent the morning with me at the office. When she first arrived by being dropped off by her mother she was in another one of her foul moods. Howver this time isstead of responding in frustration and agner like I normally do. I went the opposite direction. I welcomed her in to my office. I had her sit on my lap. And I had this overwhelming sense from God that I was just to let her know in how many ways I love her and am proud of her. We did this for some time and it was rich. However Satan was creeping in again. He was telling me what lousy father I am and how much I had blown it with Hailey and the rest of the kids. He was trying to convince me that it was never goign to get better and there was nothing I could do about. I was definately expereiince some warfare. Satan was trying to steal the joy of the moment sitting there with Hailey.

As we were sitting there and all these lousy thoughts started creeping in. I suddenly heard from God. I heard, "there is something you can do." Spend more time with her...take her to lunch." Wow suddenly this peace came over me and I was filled with hope for my relationship with her and my parenting skills. I obeyed and took her to lunch. Funny though, the rest of the morning all these things popped up tht tried to convince me that we couldn't go, but I shrigged them off because I was certain this is what God wanted. We went to lunch and ate together and didn't really say very much. Once lunch was over we could have left but I wanted to stay. I sensed God wasn't done with this moment. I decided to just hang out with her for awhile and just talk...I asked her what here favorite part of the summer was and she started talking and never stopped. She asked me questions and I talked and we just shared what we liked about vacation and Lakeside. We talked aobut our family. It was a rich time. A great connection with my daughter.

Then it hit me. How necessary was this. How important it was for me to spend time with Hailey and invest in her and just listen to her share about her life and her day. It opened doors...specificaly the door of convcition for me. No longer was this guilt and shame that I had first had in the day. Now there was this powerful presence of God filling me with loving gracefull correction, redirection, and conviction. God was using this moment to not beat me over the head but to love me and give me a beautiful picture of what my relatinship with my kids could look like. I had made the agreement along time ago that with all the kids we had that I was never going to be able to have the patience of the pleasure of nurturing these kinds of relationships. Now God was challenging me to let go of those agreements. He was giving me a chance to change. How awesome is He!

As a result of God's work in my life in this area I have already made some speciffic and necessary changes and adjustments. This is always the hard part isn't it. It's one thing to have God speak to us and show us something. It is altogether harder to make changes to adjust to it. I was much more attentive to my kids all day yesterday and even this morning than I normally would be. It has been good. Thank you God for revealing to me in your loving way the new work you want to do in me. Thank you for not just letting me settle for a mediocre life but a life of righteousness with You. God continue to mold me and shape me into the father, the husband, the pastor, and the man you want me to be.

May today be a great day for you to connect with what God wants to do in you. Live beyond the garbage that Satan wants to pollute our minds with and grasp onto the truth of God's voic in your life. Blessings!
Walking Together,
Your Dreaming Pastor

God stays with us

I have noiced regularly over the years in my walk with God that if there is something He is trying to show me or do in me He will stay with me on it. There is a persistance in our God when He knows what we need and we are either not ready for it or we are ignoring it. After all we do this with our kids. If there is a character quality or issue that need to be developed in them we will hone in on it and stick with it. We will do everthing in our power to help them with the issue until they finally get it or take ownership of it.

God is a lot like us as parents. He will do everything in His power to help us to the place He wants us to go. Before I left for vacation God impressed upon my heart that I needed to live more fully into His joy. I heard from Him to take ownership of the verse, "the joy of the Lord is my strength". And so I did...well as best I could. Now I am home from vacation and I am still impressed with the fact that I have a long way to go with this joy thing. God isn't done with me there. He is persistant and insistant that His joy be a larger part of my life. So every day this week I am reminded of His joy. I am begin challenged to discover His joy in all things. I readily admit that my heart this week has been distracted from this. I find myself thinking of my family and my parents in Myrtle Beach. I find myself reflecting on our family vacation a week ago and missing that time that we had together. However it is giving me a new appreciation for Erin, my children, and my parents.

This weeks sermon is on...you guessed it, JOY. What else would it be on. I mean isn't it uncanny how God works in us. I am going to be preaching on a topic that is a project for me personally right now. There is a persistance and an insistance from God to make sure we live into the work He wants to do. He isn't just going to go away if there is something we need to work on. He will be right there waiting for us when we are ready to come back to that thing and that work he is doing in us. God will stay with us. Praise Him for that! God thanks for impressing on me the need for greater joy. Stay with me and lead me and guide me.
Walking Together,
Your Dreaming Pastor

Satan is an opportunist!

I readily confess that I am dealing with a little post vacation hang over the past few days. We had such a good time in Gatlinburg with our kids and also with my parents. It has been hard for me to let this go. My emotions and feelings have been all out of whack and I have had a hard time putting a finger on it. I was reading in John E's book this morning and was reminded that Satan is an opportunist. He is going to look for any chick in our armor any crack in our wall and he is going to try and sneak in there and mess with our hearts/soul/spirit.

I think one of the things that gets me in trouble is I spend so much time thinking about the upcoming vacation and I put so much thought into planning it and looking forward to it that once it is over there is this empty moment in my life. I sense that I am grasping to look forward to the next big thing that's coming down the pipe in life and its not there. As I was reading this morning I began to pray against this feeling and this emptiness in my heart. I found myself bringing the power of Jesus against it in order to find out what is at the bottom of it. In times like this I often experience a distance from God, yet in these moments is when I need His presence the most. So I prayed for His presence to become greater in my life. I prayed that He would help me identify my thoughts and feelings and to rid my heart of anything polluting my spirit. I believe this to be a prayer I will keep with me for some time and I seek to follow where God is working and live beyond my own concepts and ideas of life.

I find it kind of humerous that I am dealing with this and the fact that I am preaching on joy this Sunday. I do feel like something is attempting to rob my joy. This is one of those funks that even when something great happens the feeling only lifts for a moment and then it comes back again and settles right there in my heart. I am trusting God to walk me through this time...but I am also trusting Him that I will learn from this and develop a better mindset towards upcoming events in my life, while balancing that with the real life week to week responsibilities I have been entrusted with in family, church, and life. Jesus I pray that you would be my all in all and that your joy would be my strength. God you are so good to me and you have blessed me so. May my life continuw to be a blessing to you and to others. May your Spirit fill me and cleans me of anything that would bring me down and may your joy riegn in my heart. A-men
Walking Together,
Your Dreaming Pastor