I wonder how many of us at some point in time have shut our hearts down to things? There is a life we always planned on living, goals and dreams we have never fully reached or accomplished. How often to we stuff our desires deep down into our hearts only to be ignored because it is too risky or it might mean a lot of work and hardship at first. John E. reminds us in his book that the more we stuff things down into our heart the more it cries out for attention. That's the point and the moment where addiction tends to show up. We start looking for some intimacy here or there. the crying heart can't be ignored. I wonder what you have stuffed deep inside you.
I remember in 1996 I started working for a business in Springboro, OH. Erin was finishing up school and we were to be married a few months later in May. I continued this job for 1 year. I was miserable, I hated going to work and spent the whole week looking forward to the weekend. I was quickly realizing the damage I was doing to my heart by ignoring desire. God had put a desire for full-time ministry into my heart years before and I ignored it. I stuffed deep inside of me but it kept popping up. Finally one day Erin and I decided it was time and we packed our bags for Seminary in Louisville, KY. My heart was leaping out of my chest. It was risky and I was a little scared. It was going to be a change and a lot of work, but we went for it and never looked back. I have never regretted following the desire God gave me.
We do have to be careful though. All too often we are following our own personal hearts desire. these are many times desires not from God but ones we have concocted to ease our pain or to numb our loneliness or unhappiness. This is where prayer comes in. We ask God what this longing is our heart is about. Why is it there God? We ask. God is this where you are leading me? Then we can discover if God is indeed reawakening desire in us.
Back to the joy thing for a moment. I have sensed God doing a new and amazing thing in my life since my 9 day Project of Joy while on vacation several weeks ago. Ever since that week I have keep my eyes open more fully for chances to experience His joy. I have learned to listen more to His voice and to set aside my frustrations and impatience for things. I am finding that I am accepting disappointment better and keeping my eyes open for the beautiful thing He is trying to do in and around me and my family. Thursday last week we would have normally had small group at our house. However, several families were not able to make it and the one remaining family was thinking about going to the fair. We decided to go to Meadow Brook Park in Bascum for a picnic that evening and play time with the kids. We have done this before however we have taken cold sandwiches and things...never cooked right there.
I have always wanted to go to the park with the family and kind of set up shop for several hours while the kids played I would cook and prepare lunch or dinner on the open flame. I new that this was a gift God was going to give us and I wasn't going to let the idea go until we had done it. This night was our night. We packed everything we needed for hamburgers and hot dogs. We packed baseball mitts, soccer balls, and a football, along with some folding chairs. The weather was picture perfect! May have been the best evening of the season so far. I lit up the barbecue and while I was working the grill I played catch with Austin and then kicked the soccer ball with Hailey. Erin played on the play ground with the babies and Tawna and we just hung out for a few hours. It was just a great experience. No large sum of money spent. We didn't really go that far from home. Set up and clean up was minimal. It was a good, rich time to spend with the family. God gave us something beautiful that night and I will always cherish the images and time we had there. What joy He brought to my heart that evening. It was a desire He placed in me a year or so ago and I didn't let it go. I listened and we followed. It was a reminder that He is in the simple things if we invite Him to join us there. I pray that joy continues to abound in your heart. I pray that God is doing a new thing in you. I know He is working in my life.
Walking Together,
Your Dreaming Pastor
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